Everything you need to know about my love life in haiku

Love me as I bald.
In return, my devotion
'til hair do us part.


Your sloppy kisses
remind me I have not fed
my dog in awhile.


Doctor found fungus
on my tongue. Maybe it will
mold us together?


(and one from the perspective of my wife)

An ode to my bear!
I love my sasquatch's big rear.
If only he'd shear.