Unfortunately due to time constraints we had to cut this from my wedding

OFFICIANT
[Version A] I asked Desmond and Julie when they first knew that they were in love. Des said the first time she farted in front of him, or in other words, at first-smell. Julie said that "the first time I told him that I loved him, I knew right then that it was a lie, but I needed the money."

[Version B] I asked Desmond and Julie when they first knew that they were in love. Des said, “when I first laid eyes on her Dad.” Julie just stared enigmatically into the distance and said, “soon.”